Monkalong Week 3: "'Tis not the crime which holds your hand, but the punishment"

   LATE AGAIN. I've got all kinds of school at the moment; a great deal of my reading time is clogged with boring as cultural policy documents. Hooray? I'm kind of drowning in papers but my semester is over at the end of the month so I am holding out hope.

   BORING, let's get to The Monk.

   OKAY SO, what happened in this section? In chapter three Ambrosio and Rosatilda continuously bang, Ambro gets real sick of her real fast and ogles other ladies, Rosatilda PRESUMABLY sells her soul (?) to the devil in a flashy crypt ceremony, Agnes is clearly being held prisoner in said crypt, there was some interesting talk about how some people are not meant to be monks and pride can be a poison (I wish English had more words for "pride," because there's bad pride and there's good pride and "arrogance" vs "satisfaction in a job well done" don't quite cut it. Know what I mean?), some nature vs nurture talk, Ambro has the hots for Antonia (HIS SISTER), Elvira is sick, Aunt L gets hitched, blah blah blah modesty, AND we learn that Matthew Lewis and has an external locus of control. I'm calling shenanigans on Ambro being "little acquainted with the depravity of the world" since he is the confessor for a zillion aristocrats who only have time for sinning. 

   In chapter four, I have hate for Ambro building up in my heart. Ugh. Ambrosio is awful and horrid and I don't want to write any more about this section. I like that Rosatilda is a full-blown witch but I despise in a major way her myrtle branch roofie plan. Ugh this book, ugh Ambrosio, ugh Rosatilda, ugh MLew. 

   If only this book was about Marguerite and Ghost Nun. It would be a gothic version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Monkalong Week 2: "derogatory to her Ghost-ship"

   I am late! and gif-less :( But I am posting nonetheless. This delightful readalong is hosted by the equally delightful Alice.

   Hoo boy, can the marquis ever spin a yarn. Pages and pages and pages of yarn. Too much bandit yarn, too much. It was all pretty clear from the get-go that he had fallen in with a couple of guys who were up to no good. We didn't need 1000 pages of it, and what about the servants who were all killed? We just...don't care...about them???

   I have some QUESTIONS re: this crazy book:

• At what point in history is all this meant to be taking place? Contemporary to MLew? 
• Was the Mogul guy Cain? He was Cain, right? I'm pretty sure he's Cain, complete with the mark of Cain. 
• Why are all the hot chicks 15 years old? 
• How does Chistoval feel about Loz calling the marquis "my dearest and indeed my only Friend"? Tsk. You have more friends than that, Loz.
• Why are all the nuns evil except Agnes who doesn't want to be a nun? 
• Does MLew have ANY idea of how long the human gestation period is? He says that "several months" go by, and none of the nuns have been like "oh, Agnes, you have a tell-tale belly"??
• Elvira is perceptive and cool, right? A surprisingly good mom? 
• Don't Catholic nuns have to...obey the Pope? 
• We all know that Agnes ain't dead, right? 

   I am definitely skimming the hell outta all the poetry, because I Cannot Be Bothered. Even if writing verses is the ONLY THING that could possibly keep someone awake until the wee hours of morning. But from Raymond's reaction to Theodore's I am assuming they are somewhat prophetic, as is MLew's M.O. ALSO wrapped up in Raymond's reaction to the poetry is what I assume is a dig at any future critics of his MASTERWORK: "An Author, whether good or bad, or between both, is an Animal whom everybody is privileged to attack; For though All are not able to write books, all conceive themselves able to judge them" and so on. WE GET IT, MATTHEW, YOU'RE THE BEST. 

   What will the next chapters hold?? Don't get too excited, you might break a blood vessel and die in the course of a a few hours, or you might be "seized with a poetical paroxysm" and we can't have that.