The Art of Asking / Amanda Palmer

   You've probably seen Amanda Palmer's TED talk, but if not, here it is:

   Now that you have for sure seen Amanda Palmer's TED talk (which could function as the back cover synopsis), we can have a nice wee chat about this here book. It's great! Read it! There are a bunch of swears, and she talks about things like the difference between working as a statue and working as a stripper, etc, so if those bother you then maybe don't read it but otherwise it is an all-around great read and it's lovely and inspiring and heartbreaking and GET THE AUDIOBOOK because it has songs! AUDIOBOOKS WITH SONGS, WHO KNEW.

don't we all

   Basically, Amanda Palmer wants everyone to be more comfortable with being vulnerable and more accepting of help and she talks about working as a living statue, and living with artists, and being in various bands, and living her life on the internet, and her friends, and Neil Gaiman, and being married, and on and on and just says "here is my experience, I've learned things and am learning things and I want to share them with you" and it's just so great. UGH.

   This book came along at a good time for me, as I've been having conversations about this kind of thing (asking for and accepting help, not feeling guilty about being given things you don't really deserve) because I am not super good at it but am working on doing it better. The big thing for me is that I'm 25 (until next week, happy birthday to moi) and I work part time and school full time and I live with my parents. For awhile I was feeling somewhat embarrassed about living with them still when a friend said to me "you know, that's a bit disrespectful. Your parents are giving you a huge gift, and it's a giant blessing, and that's the way you should think and talk about it. Don't let people make you feel guilty or inadequate over having understanding and loving parents" And you know what? She was totally right. My parents are great, and I am so glad I have them, and if they weren't giving me the gift of a home, I wouldn't be able to work at a job I love or further my education. I'd maybe be able to do one of them, but definitely not both and probably not either. So! Thanks, Mom and Dad. I love you both. 

   Amanda Palmer also talks about the difficulty of understanding intent over the internet, and how things can be horribly misinterpreted and suddenly become a huge deal when they were never meant that way. Sometimes things should be a huge deal, and should be exposed and confronted, and sometimes things are interpreted wrong, and it is our job as consumers of information to show some grace and to try to see both sides. Don't stop discerning, but don't jump to conclusions either. Be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. 

   Some major take-aways from this book: Just ask. It is hard sometimes, and awkward, and might not work out how you want it to but nothing ventured, nothing gained, am I right? Accept help. Even if you think you don't deserve it, even if you worry that people will look down on you. Show grace. Show grace when you accept help, when you give help, when you see something questionable on the internet, when you see someone else in need of help. Examine your paradigm. Why do you think that way? What is it rooted in? What's your first reaction? How could you act differently in this situation? AND LASTLY: make and/or appreciate some dang-diddly art.