Vampires in the Lemon Grove / Karen Russell

   Here is something that is unexpectedly delightful: a story of deceased Presidents who are in some kind of purgatory where they have become horses ("The Barn at the End of Our Term"). Here is something that is unsurprisingly creepy: a scarecrow version of a kid who disappeared that gets thrown into a pit and then begins to get ripped apart, bit by bit ("The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis"). This book is primarily creepy, with bits of sweetness and delight thrown in, resulting in some cognitive dissonance.

   There's a story called "Proving Up" which is about homesteaders and maybe the devil? And I've been realizing more and more lately how much I like creepy stories set in the woods and/or on the prairie, or in which the setting is essentially another character (see: Through the Woods, We Have Always Lived in the Castle, other Shirley Jackson stories). The woods and the prairie can be so peaceful and nice and even homey, but also so scary. They're a bit like deep water, maybe. You know, the water is supporting you and holding you up and you're thinking of that line from Vonnegut about being beautiful in the water and you feel strong BUT WAIT you can't see beneath you and what if something is down there something is definitely down there oh my goodness is it a colossal squid?! They have twirly hooks in their tentacles, I am going to die here.

looked up squid gifs, immediately regretted it, here's a cat

   Karen Russell has a similar ability to Shirley Jackson, where she can take something innocuous and make it worrisome and sinister. Not the same mastery as Shirley Jackson, to be sure, but a definite knack and skill. There are a couple stories that weren't my jam, one about seagulls sort of and one about tattoos sort of, but largely I'd say Karen Russell hits home runs or at least scores many points (how does baseball work). There's also a bit of comedic relief in "Dougbert Shackleton's Rules for Antarctic Tailgating" which, let's be honest, has "Shackleton" and "Antarctic" in the title so obviously I loved it.

   This books is good! I liked it, even though it took me for.ev.er. to read.

Through the Woods / Emily Carroll

   If there is one word to describe this book, it is "HELLA CREEPY", which , I admit, is two words, but "creepy" by itself just doesn't cut it. There was one particular panel in "His Face All Red" that made me GASP OUT LOUD. FOLKS, this book is GOOD and it is SCARY and I told the barista who recognizes me that she needs to read it and she said she already has and she loved it. Both the barista and I recommend this book, you should defs go get it.

an appropriate reaction, really

   SO: Emily Carroll is a genius of horror and atmosphere. Like Shirley Jackson, but with comics, and more monsters. This book is a wee collection of short stories, each one with a sort of fairy tale (in the Grimm-est sense) feel to it and an underlying menace and unease. Innocuous things are worrisome, and there is so much tension created by some ambiguous endings. It's great. Even Emily Carroll's choice of colour is spot-on, with plenty of black with huge splashes of red and blue and mostly red.

   "His Face All Red" is the only title I can remember right now but the other stories are ALSO GOOD, and ALSO SPOOKY, and I'm just gushing now so do yourself a favour and read this tome. It'll take you an afternoon and the time of year is perfect for it. The snow is just starting to fall (although it is late as) and it is getting darker and darker so why not read something that will make you have some difficulty sleeping? Why not indeed.

make fairy tales terrifying again

The Lottery / Shirley Jackson

   I've been in a bit of a reading slump lately, and short spooky stories are just the ticket to help me kick it. Thank goodness that Jenny at Reading the End, is co-hosting a Shirley Jackson reading week to remind me of my love for Jackson's particular brand of the spooky scary. Somehow, I had not read The Lottery before, and set out to rectify that hole in my reading career.

   Have we all read The Lottery by now? I feel like I was the last person who hadn't read it and now I have so I reckon we're good for spoilers. If you haven't read The Lottery and don't know what happens, then I suggest you go read it. It'll take you barely any time at all.

   The Lottery, fortunately, is not my first rodeo. I've read We Have Always Lived in the Castle and The Haunting of Hill House, both of which I LOVED and highly recommend, so I had a layer of preparation when it comes to Shirley Jackson's mastery of tension and foreboding. However, that doesn't keep her brand of writing from being any less subtly terrifying. Cue: my reaction when the boys started gathering rocks:

   Basically, reading this story was an exercise in me saying "oh no, that's going to be bad," and, "oh no, that definitely not good," and, "oh no, oh no, oh no," and, "oh NO that is NOT promising," and, "I KNEW THE ROCKS WERE A BAD SIGN." Shirley Jackson is the queen of making everything and anything sinister. A black box? SINISTER. Someone arriving to a town meeting late? SINISTER. There are families standing together? DIAL THE TENSION TO 11. Children laughing? HEAVEN HELP US.

   And now I could write about how The Lottery is a comment on how mundane evil can be, or on the psychology of crowds, or on the questionable ethics of doing something just because that's how it's always been done but really? I read this story because it's Shirley Jackson and it's perfectly spooky and I've never met a Shirley Jackson story that I didn't like.

how Shirley Jackson makes me feel (once the terror wears off)

   Now I have got to get my hands on a copy of The Sundial.

OMGOSH IT'S MINITHON TIME

   Will I participate in this season's eight hour mini opus of mini foods and mini books? YES I THINK I WILL. I have a clear Saturday and it looks like it's going to be about 11 degrees and raining so really, what better to do with my time than eat tiny croissants and read? The lovely Tika at Reading the Bricks is hosting and everything is awesome.

   And now to the most important part of the day: the snacks. I have the aforementioned croissants, along with, of course, mini coffee. I can see baby carrots in my future, as well as a smoothie which is mini because it is a mixture of very small bits of fruit. Also, obviously, there will be crackers and cheese. Maybe crackers with cheese melted onto them! OMGOSH. The miniest of pizzas!

I will savor my snacks

   But what books will I be delving into? Let me tell you:

• Vampires in the Lemon Grove / Karen Russell

   A book of short stories that I have been in the middle of for way too long, which I intend to read at least one story out of, maybe less, who knows, it's minithon day. Mini justification? SHORT STORIES, don't even have to reach for it. Boo-yeah. 

• Why Humans Like to Cry / Michael R. Trimble

   I have this book from the library and I have high hopes for it. Maybe too high. TELL ME WHY I CRY, MICHAEL R TRIMBLE. Mini justification: tears are mini amounts of water.

• The Amber Spyglass / Philip Pullman

   Audiobooks! I love 'em. I absolutely need to finally finish reading this series, it is a crying shame that I haven't yet. Once in library school we had to do a presentation "creatively" (our instructor gave us the WORST assignment descriptions) and one of my pals who we (lovingly) described as "Jon the smarmy bastard" decided that it was his duty to dress up as Lyra, bring a stuffie to school, and do his presentation AS LYRA it was amazing. Mini justification: audiobooks take a mini amount of effort to read! Children are teacup humans! I'm sure Pantalaimon turned into a moth or something at some point (it's been awhile since I read the first two)! 

   I also have episodes of Elementary to watch in case the reading gets to be just too much, and a great deal of tea, and OH, the naps I might have. The day is just BURSTING with possibilities. Also! My twitter handle is @olyvianne. I'm stoked to minithon with you, you beautiful sunbeams.

The Yellow Wallpaper / Charlotte Perkins Gilman

   If you live anywhere near where I do (i.e. THE TRUE NORTH STRONG AND FREE) you know that it is really, truly, winter. When the first real snow comes I react like King Theoden looking over the valley in front of Helm's Deep, with many a "so it begins" and a "this is your life now."

we understand one another

      All this to say that the season that I am on the lookout for spooky scary reading is past (and I read The Shining / Stephen King and it was plenty scary so I got my fill) and it was purely by chance that I stumbled on this short story by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Someone on the world wide web mentioned it, saying something like "1892 story about postpartum depression" so naturally I needed to read it, unaware that it is also extremely creepy. Ladies and gentlemen it is so short, and since it was published way before 1923 it is on Project Gutenberg and you can read it for free here: The Yellow Wallpaper. It is a mere 6,000 words. Go read it.

   Hopefully you've read it now because OH MY GOSH, AM I RIGHT? Was the "creeping" as terrifying in your head as in my head? How much is your rage roiling against her physician husband? The poor woman! The poor baby! The poor man! Surprising insight into the effects of depression on the side of CPG! I looked her up, and she also wrote a short book called Herland which is also written from a feminist perspective and is also free online so of course I am going to read it. Wikipedia says that she was a "prominent American feminist, sociologist, novelist, writer of short stories, poetry, and nonfiction, and a lecturer for social reform" to which I say, "sounds like my kind of historical lady, minus the racism which becomes evident upon further reading." Also: TURNS OUT The Yellow Wallpaper is semi-autobiographical. AND she taught herself to read when she was five.