Bird Box / Josh Malerman

Yesterday I saw the trailer for netflix's adaptation of Bird Box, and my reaction was to immediately (after watching Jeopardy, of course) go get my copy of the book and start reading it because IT WAS FINALLY TIME. I've owned Bird Box for several years, and just never brought myself to actually read it, until now. I started and finished it last night and now here we are.

Usually when I read a spooky and/or scary book, I have to either not read it at night or read a VERY GENTLE palate cleanser before falling asleep. So when it was time to go to bed but I wanted to keep reading, I bundled into bed with Bird Box almost finished and with Age of License / Lucy Knisley to get me to sleep sans nightmares. Now don't get me wrong, Bird Box has some good, evocative scenes, and pages that I read very quickly because the action and the tension were moving so quickly. But when I read the last page and closed the book, I didn't feel like I needed to read something non-scary. I still did, because I luv 2 read, but I didn't neeeeeed it. The ending of Bird Box is fine, it's just a little lackluster. It's a fine book! It feels like it could have maybe taken another round of editing? The way I feel about Bird Box is about the same way I feel about Horrorstor: it's a great concept executed well, it's just not a Triumph of Literary Genius, and that's fine!!! I think what may have happened here is that my expectations for Bird Box were off from what Bird Box actually is and that's why I'm feeling a bit weird about my reaction to it!!!

Bird Box was fine! It wasn't bad, and it wasn't amazing. It was nice. I've lifted a gif rating from Alley to explain how I felt about this book:

Horrorstor / Grady Hendrix

IMAGINE THIS: you're in an Ikea at night when it's deserted and suddenly there are GHOSTS and HAUNTINGS, that's right, get ready for both Thrills, and Chills!

Here's what many before me have said about Horrorstor: it has concept in spades and the exact right amount of execution to make it a fun and quick read. The ending is only okay and some of the story beats seem unnecessary BUT, overall it's good and spooky! And isn't that all we can ask or expect from a book like this? A slasher-esque movie turned concept book? BUT WAIT, I hear you say, THERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE. Good point, and there is, and it comes in the form of Joey Comeau's slasher thriller The Summer is Ended and We Are Not Yet Saved.

This book not only gave me the satisfying type of fear that comes from a book that is not only extremely over the top but is also very well written, and left me feeling Real Human Emotions to such a degree that although I read this book several years ago, I still think of it often and recommend it to people on the reg. For instance! A couple weeks ago I was getting my nails done and the esthetician and I somehow realized we had a mutual appreciation for true crime podcasts, which led to a discussion of reading, which led to my admitting that I get scared VERY easily and so I can't watch horror movies or listen to horror audiobooks BUT since she loves horror she should DEFINITELY find and read a copy of The Summer is Ended and We Are Not Yet Saved by Canada's own Joey Comeau (If you recognize his name it's probably because of the late great A Softer World).

LISTEN, I do not claim to understand Mr Comeau's mind, but imagine the ramblings of that weird and sad comic translated into a really good and affecting horror novel and out comes a book that is NOT ONLY a really scary bloodbath but ALSO a really touching story about a single mother and her son. I can't explain it!

I normally don't like/can't read horror, despite my yearly quest for spooky scary reads in the Fall, but I can honestly recommend both of these books, although for entirely different reasons. If you are trying your BEST to play Civilization 5 but it Will Not Stop Crashing then I recommend you log on to your nearest library website and get yourself an ebook copy of Horrorstor to read whilst enjoying a quiet evening at home. If you want a book that will spook you til your eyes are wide BUT ALSO will spring into your mind with tenderness years later, read The Summer is Ended and We Are Not Yet Saved.

And really, who among us hasn't shut all the lights off in a normally busy and bright space and felt just a lil bit of the creepy crawlies.

World War Z / Max Brooks

   A couple of years ago, I reached zombie saturation. This manifested when I stopped watching and reading The Walking Dead. The humans are the real monster, I get it. And so my everlasting thanks goes out to everyone who told me that World War Z  is almost too good, and that the audiobook is a masterpiece even though it's abridged. You brought me back to the world of the undead. I split Christmas break reading time between Bleak House (I WILL FINISH SOON), Dead Mountain, and World War Z and oh my goodness, what a successful round of reading.

   We all know that the best horror stories aren't about the scary thing, they are about what the scary thing does to the people who are scared. Max Brooks takes that concept and RUNS with it and instead of following small bands of survivors we get a global overview of the sociopolitical, economic, technological, and psychological (and many other "-ical"s) ramifications of a zombie apocalypse and recovery from a zombie apocalypse. This isn't even really horror.

   This is so well written and so well organized and I forgive Max Brooks for being pretty focused on the U.S.A. because this book is just so good. I'm listening to the audiobooks at this very moment. UGH FOLKS JUST READ IT. I was expecting this to be good but I wasn't expecting it to be this good. I might be back to zombies. I might start reading The Walking Dead again. I am newly motivated to finish reading The Girl With All The Gifts even though it was spooking me more than I like to be spooked (holla at you, nightmares)(I will wait until spring, I think).

Some Tiny Reviews

The Romanov Sisters / Helen Rappaport 

   ARE YOU READY TO GET SAD? Because if you aren't sad yet, you're GONNA BE.This book is really good but also daunting in that there's a dark cloud hanging over the whole thing. Well, there's like eighty dark clouds with one especially giant, especially impenetrable dark cloud.

   Humanizing historical royals! A better understanding of many different motivations! Non-dry writing! Win win win (no matter what).

The Girl With All The Gifts / M. R. Carey

   I had to stop listening to/reading this because I was having trouble turning my back on dark spaces; it is very scary. I thought this book was for children. CHILDREN. It is not, and I was not prepared. I reckon I'll come back to this one, because it is quite good, but not for awhile here.

   Zombies! Experiments! Too scary for me at this time!

Step Aside, Pops / Kate Beaton

   I don't think I'll ever have anything bad to say about Kate Beaton, she is a national treasure. I gave The Princess and the Pony to my nieces and they love it. I could have gotten them a fat pony stuffie for Christmas and I am only just now realizing my grave error.

my new motto

 

Vampires in the Lemon Grove / Karen Russell

   Here is something that is unexpectedly delightful: a story of deceased Presidents who are in some kind of purgatory where they have become horses ("The Barn at the End of Our Term"). Here is something that is unsurprisingly creepy: a scarecrow version of a kid who disappeared that gets thrown into a pit and then begins to get ripped apart, bit by bit ("The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis"). This book is primarily creepy, with bits of sweetness and delight thrown in, resulting in some cognitive dissonance.

   There's a story called "Proving Up" which is about homesteaders and maybe the devil? And I've been realizing more and more lately how much I like creepy stories set in the woods and/or on the prairie, or in which the setting is essentially another character (see: Through the Woods, We Have Always Lived in the Castle, other Shirley Jackson stories). The woods and the prairie can be so peaceful and nice and even homey, but also so scary. They're a bit like deep water, maybe. You know, the water is supporting you and holding you up and you're thinking of that line from Vonnegut about being beautiful in the water and you feel strong BUT WAIT you can't see beneath you and what if something is down there something is definitely down there oh my goodness is it a colossal squid?! They have twirly hooks in their tentacles, I am going to die here.

looked up squid gifs, immediately regretted it, here's a cat

   Karen Russell has a similar ability to Shirley Jackson, where she can take something innocuous and make it worrisome and sinister. Not the same mastery as Shirley Jackson, to be sure, but a definite knack and skill. There are a couple stories that weren't my jam, one about seagulls sort of and one about tattoos sort of, but largely I'd say Karen Russell hits home runs or at least scores many points (how does baseball work). There's also a bit of comedic relief in "Dougbert Shackleton's Rules for Antarctic Tailgating" which, let's be honest, has "Shackleton" and "Antarctic" in the title so obviously I loved it.

   This books is good! I liked it, even though it took me for.ev.er. to read.

Through the Woods / Emily Carroll

   If there is one word to describe this book, it is "HELLA CREEPY", which , I admit, is two words, but "creepy" by itself just doesn't cut it. There was one particular panel in "His Face All Red" that made me GASP OUT LOUD. FOLKS, this book is GOOD and it is SCARY and I told the barista who recognizes me that she needs to read it and she said she already has and she loved it. Both the barista and I recommend this book, you should defs go get it.

an appropriate reaction, really

   SO: Emily Carroll is a genius of horror and atmosphere. Like Shirley Jackson, but with comics, and more monsters. This book is a wee collection of short stories, each one with a sort of fairy tale (in the Grimm-est sense) feel to it and an underlying menace and unease. Innocuous things are worrisome, and there is so much tension created by some ambiguous endings. It's great. Even Emily Carroll's choice of colour is spot-on, with plenty of black with huge splashes of red and blue and mostly red.

   "His Face All Red" is the only title I can remember right now but the other stories are ALSO GOOD, and ALSO SPOOKY, and I'm just gushing now so do yourself a favour and read this tome. It'll take you an afternoon and the time of year is perfect for it. The snow is just starting to fall (although it is late as) and it is getting darker and darker so why not read something that will make you have some difficulty sleeping? Why not indeed.

make fairy tales terrifying again

The Lottery / Shirley Jackson

   I've been in a bit of a reading slump lately, and short spooky stories are just the ticket to help me kick it. Thank goodness that Jenny at Reading the End, is co-hosting a Shirley Jackson reading week to remind me of my love for Jackson's particular brand of the spooky scary. Somehow, I had not read The Lottery before, and set out to rectify that hole in my reading career.

   Have we all read The Lottery by now? I feel like I was the last person who hadn't read it and now I have so I reckon we're good for spoilers. If you haven't read The Lottery and don't know what happens, then I suggest you go read it. It'll take you barely any time at all.

   The Lottery, fortunately, is not my first rodeo. I've read We Have Always Lived in the Castle and The Haunting of Hill House, both of which I LOVED and highly recommend, so I had a layer of preparation when it comes to Shirley Jackson's mastery of tension and foreboding. However, that doesn't keep her brand of writing from being any less subtly terrifying. Cue: my reaction when the boys started gathering rocks:

   Basically, reading this story was an exercise in me saying "oh no, that's going to be bad," and, "oh no, that definitely not good," and, "oh no, oh no, oh no," and, "oh NO that is NOT promising," and, "I KNEW THE ROCKS WERE A BAD SIGN." Shirley Jackson is the queen of making everything and anything sinister. A black box? SINISTER. Someone arriving to a town meeting late? SINISTER. There are families standing together? DIAL THE TENSION TO 11. Children laughing? HEAVEN HELP US.

   And now I could write about how The Lottery is a comment on how mundane evil can be, or on the psychology of crowds, or on the questionable ethics of doing something just because that's how it's always been done but really? I read this story because it's Shirley Jackson and it's perfectly spooky and I've never met a Shirley Jackson story that I didn't like.

how Shirley Jackson makes me feel (once the terror wears off)

   Now I have got to get my hands on a copy of The Sundial.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers / Jack Finney

   If there is a vibe that I love in scary books, it is the "it doesn't seem like anything is wrong on the surface but if you look closely there is totally something off about this situation what is it oh my gosh" vibe. Enter Jack Finney's Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where the very thing that is the most sinister is that it is so difficult to tell who has been body-snatched and who hasn't. Miles, our narrator, is describing the town and says "there wasn't anything out-and-out strange or remarkable to see", and that is essentially the theme of the book.

   Written in 1955, the book sometimes posits some uncomfortable notions, but all in all it is quite enjoyable, and maintains a sinister feeling. However, I do have a complaint and I do think it is warranted. WTH is up with the plethora of deus ex machina endings in aliens-invading-mother-earth science fiction? "It was germs done killed 'em" "Earth has water and other planets don't, ergo: water = alien poison." OR "they decided that it just wasn't worth it."

   PLEASE.

   I was half expecting the ending to be "un/fortunately, Miles and Becky's struggle was unsuccessful so I guess we are all aliens now, and you didn't even know it. You're an alien, your mom's an alien, your aunts and uncles? Aliens. You dog too, probably, if you have a dog. Although why would you, since you are an emotionless husk carrying a parasitic alien life-form which will perpetuate itself throughout the earth until there aren't any non-alien entities left for it to take over, at which point it will revert back to spores and move on to ravage other planets. Well! Have a good sleep." 

   Wouldn't that have been a better ending?? I certainly think so. I guess I've sort of given this story away, but really: it was published in 1955. You've had some time to read it. Also: Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a part of our cultural psyche. You already know the story, or at least the ingredients.

The Turn of the Screw / Henry James

I <3 Deborah Kerr

    Good evening, dear reader.

   Just as the governess in question always instinctively knows what all the other characters are thinking, I instinctively knew that I would enjoy this book as soon as the over the top dramatic tone was set. If our ill-fated governess knows one thing: it is how to use capitalization for emphasis. (When referring to another character using a pronoun, always say "HIM" or "HER", not boring old "him" and "her". It keeps everyone on their toes.) Just like the perceptive governess, my innate knowledge was proved correct (or not just like her, read on!) when I enjoyed this small volume immensely and have added it to a list of beloved spooky reading. 

   But is everything indeed as it seems??!?!?? Is the secluded country house indeed haunted?!? Or is this a tale of infamy and insanity??? Or, as some of my internet perusing has suggested, was this story a way for Henry James to write about child abuse without really writing about child abuse? 

   There are a few possible readings of The Turn of the Screw, some of which are: 

• It is a ghost story plain and simple. 
• It is not a ghost story, but a mad-governess story. 
• It is a strange way to couch a story of the effects of abuse. 
• It was meant to be "uninterpretable". 

   Personally, dear reader, I'm inclined towards a combination of actual ghosts and actual mad governess. If I myself were a ghost and was doing some haunting, then it would be a short step from haunting to "I'm going to make this person and the people around them believe that he/she is mad." Two birds: one stone. I, for one, am an advocate of ghost efficiency.